5 New Year’s Resolutions from anti-guru Sarah Knight, author of Calm The F**k Down

5 New Year’s Resolutions from anti-guru Sarah Knight, author of Calm The F**k Down

It’s that time of year again where we’re promising to hit the gym, eat more salad and stay up-to-date with current affairs. But why make promises we know we’re going to break? To help ease the guilt, here’s our favourite anti-guru Sarah Knight, author of the No F**ks Given Guides, with some New Year’s Resolutions…

  1. Oh, did you think I was actually going to share my resolutions to get fitter, richer, or more adept at stand-up paddle boarding? I am not. I don’t believe in setting arbitrary goals at a random time of year—let alone shouting them to the public—only to likely fail in both public and private at something I was inspired to do merely out of cultural/societal pressure in the first place.
  2. That said, I would like to recover fully from the hand I broke in July, so I’m “resolving” to   use my heat pack twice a day and do some exercises that I found online. (It was broken by one of my adopted feral cats, a story that you can get in detail in the Epilogue of my new book Calm the F**k Down, should you so desire.)
  3. I also want to be able to fit into all my winter clothes by mid-January when I have to travel to London to promote the aforementioned book, so I should probably cut a few baguettes (per day) and bottles of wine (per week) out of the old diet between now and then. I’m a recovering anorexic and bulimic who no longer believes in deprivation for the sake of weight loss, but I also live in the Dominican Republic these days and only have one set of cold-weather clothes so I can’t afford to grow out of them. It’s a pickle.
  4. I need to work on my Spanish. Or should I say, Tengo que practicar mi Espanol.
  5. What else, what else? Ooh, here’s a good one—unoriginal but earnest—I’d like to read more books in 2019. I’m not going to give you a number (see: unrealistic goals at which I’ll probably fail), but there’s a metric ton of literature I didn’t get around to this year and that’s coming out next year that I’m more than happy to add to my TBR pile. CONSIDER ME RESOLVED.

Sarah’s new book Calm The F**k Down is out now!