You just need to stay calm. You should be able to manage. You should have grown out of that by now. You could try harder.
What does it feel like to grow up autistic when nobody – including you – knows you’re autistic? Eliza Fricker takes us back to her adolescence; a time of constant confusion, exhaustion, and the relentless message that she simply wasn’t trying hard enough. Through evocative illustrations and raw honesty, she reveals the invisible struggle of an undiagnosed autistic girl: the masking; the meltdowns mistaken for being difficult; the desperate attempts to decode social rules that seemed to come naturally to everyone else.
Could Try Harder captures the gap between how the world sees you and what is really happening inside – the sensory overload, the anxiety, the exhaustion of performing ‘normal’ every single day. This is essential reading for anyone who was told they had ‘so much potential’ but could never quite reach it, and for parents, teachers and clinicians who need to understand what they might be missing. A compassionate reckoning with the past and a lifeline for those still searching for answers.
What does it feel like to grow up autistic when nobody – including you – knows you’re autistic? Eliza Fricker takes us back to her adolescence; a time of constant confusion, exhaustion, and the relentless message that she simply wasn’t trying hard enough. Through evocative illustrations and raw honesty, she reveals the invisible struggle of an undiagnosed autistic girl: the masking; the meltdowns mistaken for being difficult; the desperate attempts to decode social rules that seemed to come naturally to everyone else.
Could Try Harder captures the gap between how the world sees you and what is really happening inside – the sensory overload, the anxiety, the exhaustion of performing ‘normal’ every single day. This is essential reading for anyone who was told they had ‘so much potential’ but could never quite reach it, and for parents, teachers and clinicians who need to understand what they might be missing. A compassionate reckoning with the past and a lifeline for those still searching for answers.
Reviews
Could Try Harder is a deeply moving and necessary book that captures what so many autistic girls experience but cannot always articulate. Eliza Fricker gives voice to the quiet struggle of feeling "not quite right" in a world that misunderstands you. This book will change how we understand "trying harder"... for good
I've loved Eliza's work for so long and this book honestly made me emotional in a way I wasn't expecting. It captures that constant pressure to try harder, to get it right, to be "acceptable"... and the quiet shame so many of us carry. It brought me straight back to being a teenager (and my experience sometimes now!) masking all day, then everything coming out at home. Trying to navigate friendships, not understanding social rules, ending up in situations that were "meant to be fun" but just felt confusing... I'd really recommend it for anyone supporting young people. And for teenagers, I honestly wish I had this. It's such a confusing time and this book really shows how vulnerable neurodivergent teens can be... Eliza just tells the truth. And that's exactly what we need
Eliza Fricker's new book Could Try Harder is one I wish my parents, my teachers and my younger self had been handed. It sees neurodivergent young people for who they actually are, not who the system wants them to be... If your school reports said, "could try harder" and you're now late-discovered AuDHD, this book is going to find the part of you that still flinches at those words... Go and buy it. Read it. Pass it on