Mothers and Daughters

There’s no denying… Mother and daughter relationships are interesting and complex. They are always significant and often tricky. And – for me, at least – extremely rewarding.
Our mother is our nurturer. As children we depend on her for comfort, nutrition, shelter and love. As we grow older we turn to her for practical and emotional help and advice. But this is where things might get tricky. As adults we need to break away from that maternal cocoon and it’s considered healthy to do so. Every daughter becomes her own person – with her own set of values, needs, beliefs. And these might not coincide with her mother’s…
This is probably why some mothers and daughters say that they can’t live without each other and can’t live with each other either… Mothers and daughters often argue and can be one another’s worst critic. Fortunately, the bond they share means their love should survive the strain!
Some mothers and daughters become best friends. Some mothers become babysitters while others think themselves lucky to get one phone call a month from their daughters.
As mothers, it’s hard when our daughters move away from us. We’re so used to being needed, accustomed to being our daughter’s number one. No matter how independent we want them to be, it’s difficult to shift over, take a back seat, play the supporting role (often literally). Why shouldn’t we interfere – when we obviously know best?
As daughters, we understand and appreciate our mother the most when we have children of our own. Suddenly, we are catapulted into her role. Suddenly, we too have a small someone who depends on us, to whom we are a mother. Gosh, it’s not easy, is it? We realise that our mother is a person too.
And we’re all getting older… Love gets mixed up with duty. We become frustrated with our mother for not being quick enough, or up to date enough; for being too stubborn or too needy. We love her, of course we do – but are we prepared to care for her as she once cared for us?
I’ve been extremely fortunate in my own mother and daughter relationships. Even so, I wanted to explore – in fiction – a more troubled one. In Her Mother’s Secret Colette thinks she knows why her parents argued and why her father died. But memories can be unreliable and people keep secrets. Colette is convinced she knows why her mother kept her emotional distance all those years ago – but what if she’s wrong?
Colette left Belle-Ȋle-en-Mer as soon as she could, to lead an independent life in Porthleven, Cornwall. But she’s drawn back to Brittany by her mother’s failing health. And as she becomes her mother’s carer, the relationship has a chance to heal and Colette finally learns the truth.
But through the complexity and the ups and downs of every mother and daughter relationship, one truth shines through: no one will ever love us in quite the same way as our mother does.

Rosanna Ley

Her Mother’s Secret is out now: https://amzn.to/2JOmgfr