Here at Bookends HQ, we love a good wedding… but sometimes they don’t go exactly to plan.
Our lovely author, Jenny Blackhurst, has a new addictive psychological thriller out called The Night She Died, which features its own wedding disaster, with a beautiful young bride jumping to her death the night before her wedding…
In the meantime, here are Jenny’s top 10 disastrous weddings in fiction!
Number 10: The Wedding Planner
If there’s anything I’ve learned from TV and books, it’s that there are a list of people waiting to steal your man at any opportunity; ex-girlfriends, sisters, best friends, wedding planners… Wait, what? Surely the person hired to plan your wedding isn’t going to make a play for your man? What’s worse is that if you make said wedding planner the heroine, the audience will actually root for your fiancé to be pinched from under your nose. Shocking.
Number 9: Runaway Bride
So, you’ve meet the woman of your dreams, your head hasn’t been turned by the wedding planner and you’ve made it down the aisle. You watch as your bride walks towards you, she looks stunning in her white gown and, hold on, what’s she…? Is she running away? Perhaps you’ve had the misfortune to find yourself engaged to Maggie Carpenter, otherwise known as the ‘Runaway Bride’. Maybe you’ll have better luck next time.
Number 8: My Best Friend’s Wedding
Or maybe not. Because here she is again, only this time she’s changed her name to Julianne Potter and she’s trying to steal her best friend away from his perky fiancée, Kimmy. Possibly the first romantic comedy ever made where everyone gets what they truly deserve.
Number 7: The Wedding Singer
This one is mostly included as an excuse for me to watch the film again, with its amazing 80s soundtrack and costume department, as well as a tear wrenching rendition of ‘I Wanna Grow Old With You’ by Adam Sandler.
Number 6: Jane Eyre
At every wedding I’ve ever been to there is a snigger at the words ‘any lawful impediment’. I’ve been to weddings where the groom looks around anxiously and everyone laughs, or someone coughs and the congregation hold their breath. I’ve never been to a wedding, however, where the words prompt the revelation that the groom is already married. Awkward.
Number 5: Ross Geller
Oh, Ross. King of the TV weddings, everyone’s favourite wet-head has managed to marry a lesbian, say the wrong name at the alter and get wasted and married in Vegas. To three different people, I should add. The nation held its collective breath as he uttered the words, ‘take thee, Rachel.’ Luckily none of us liked Emily anyway.
Number 4: Ronnie and Jack (Eastenders)
The road hadn’t been an easy one for Ronnie and Jack, so when they announced they were getting married fans were overjoyed – and wary. For it wouldn’t be soapland if a wedding went off without a hitch, would it? Lessons learned: wedding dresses are not suitable swimming attire, unless Jack Sparrow is available.
Number 3: Steve and Tracy, et al (Corrie)
Comeback King Steve Macdonald has had so many weddings he makes Ross Geller look like Keanu Reeves. My favourite of his weddings was the first time he married Tracy Barlow.
Number 2: Max and Steph (Hollyoaks)
If there has been a wedding day on TV that traumatised me more I’m not sure I can remember it. Yes, the number one slot has been swallowed up by the shock wedding of the decade, but I will always remember the pain in my heart as little Tom knelt beside his big brother/surrogate dad and wept as he died. On the happiest day of his life. Okay, so he had clearly been punching above his weight, but still – can’t soap writers just let them be happy?
Number 1: Red Wedding (Game of Thrones)
Fans of Game of Thrones will probably never attend a wedding again without wearing full body armour underneath their finery. Arguably the most shocking wedding ever seen on our screens (unless you’d read the book, of course. Then you were feeling all smug as Twitter exploded), the Red Wedding gave a new meaning to Until Death Us Do Part.